Wedding and phone calls

Well I sit here in my hotel room the day after my daughter got married. Wow, let me say that again, Wow. I didn't in my wildest dreams think I would be here for this day. 6 1/2 years ago when I was diagnosed with CML I called my daughter and gave her the news. She was in college at MSU. She tried to be strong but there was so much missing in her voice that I knew her heart was breaking. Jessica and I can talk about anything she would call me up and talk for hours about nothing or about something important, it didn't matter. What mattered was we where talking and I was always a phone call away if needed. Then I could hear it, it was what she didn't say that was loud and clear. A few weeks later she called up and said ALL that was it. so I said no CML and that was the end of the conversation. I know she is a smart girl so I also know that she was looking up as much information as she could on CML, at that time it wasn't good. It was before the TKI's I am on now have proved themselves to be a miracle drug. My own doctor told me 5 years is the average life span after being diagnosed. Well we both knew that wasn't enough time. I lost my mother when I was 24 and that just isn't enough time. Well a few more weeks past and I went down for a doctors visit and I met Jessica and we went out to eat, like we always do when we get together. It reassured her that hey I look alright so maybe things can still go ok. Then about a year later I asked if she wanted to go to one of my appointments to meet my oncologist. To my surprise she did, after going to the U of M Cancer Center, parking, going for my blood draw, then going upstairs to checking and finally getting in to a room, we sat and waited. She asked how do you know what to do this place is so big. I said you do what you have to do, and I have to do this. Well waiting for another hour or so she became more fidgety she decided to try on a pair of blue latex gloves that where in the room. Right when she had them both on and showing them to me, my doctor walks in and I introduce them. He smiles and says you must have been here a while. She sheepishly says yeah, I think that was a turning point in her knowing I was in good hands and being treated with the best treatment that was out there.

I too often wondered if I will ever see her married, will I ever see my grandchildren as my mother never did. Now I also see there is hope, there is a glimmer of hope that a cure will be found and I too will be able to see my child grow up and have her own children. Seeing how happy she was at her wedding is one of the best feelings I can have. I now have one less weight on my shoulders so I think for at least a little while I will have a little more bounce in my step, a little more of a smile. It is hard for me to dream of the future but with my daughters wedding I see with my own eyes that some of my dreams can and do come true.

I am still only a phone call away!